Boone Pickens needs to update the stadium because I've been to two or three games and the line that shows up where the first down is doesn't show up on the field and it gets confusing for us intelligent football fans in the stands to know where in a first down is. I can't tell you how many times the younger wife embarrasses us by shouting out cowboy first down after every play. (I only purchase four tickets to save money, so the older wife sits and reads a book in the Chevy Astrovan)
Everytime the wife does that I give her a stern talking to and remind her I can just get another wife anytime from the compound and she'll have to sit in silence in the Astrovan during games. We've agreed on a time out. Where she looks only at the ground and think about how she's embarrassed me so as not to disrupt the nearby people in attendance. After I've decided she can during the game I like to make friends with people sitting nearby at the game and tell people about things I've found in auto salvage yards. It's great to connect with other men and tell them about the organization and some of our beliefs and where western civilization is going wrong.
Once or twice a year, I take the family to the public library and after 20 minutes of help from the librarian, whom I suspect may be a feminist by her eyeglasses and choice of sweaters, we're able to watch videos of oklahoma state football games. I try not to watch the same game twice because it really excites both myself and the boy when we know the outcome. One of our favorite things is when they paint the line on the field so at least half the players know where the first down is. I always enjoy when a player gets a first down because they do a dance and celebrate. I often become overwhelmed with excitement and kiss my younger wife. I always joke that the older wife will get my attention after a pick six. It always gets a good laugh.
How do they expect us loyal and true fans to get up and jubilantly exclaim, GOOD FOR A COWBOY FIRST DOWN AND TEN.
I feel like ever since NIL and Transfer portal they just keep screwin you me and all of us taxpayin Americans and making us look like fools. Why come every time I watch the cowboy football on a video they show that first down line, but every time I come here and watch the game with my own eyes, THERE'S NO DAD GUM LINE PAINTED ON THE FIELD. It's not fair and makes all of us look like fools. I bring my family here. And I get so man that I never know when to shout GOOD FOR A COWBOY FIRST AND TEN! I get so excited, but it's a complete guessing game without that line on the field. I tried to be popular and make friends with all the new people near my seat. I see them wanting to be my friend and maybe go into business on a dog track idea I have on a plot of land I can convince people is mine outside Woodward, Oklahoma.
I feel it's all a big club and they won't let me or you in it. I'm just a common hardworking Braum's man. They look down on me and try to humiliate me, by not putting that line on the field for first downs. I've called every secretary I can get hold of in the athletic department to discuss this issue at length and discuss refunding people's tickets until this gets fixed.
I was watching the video board last week and saw #11 make a catch and run like the wind against Nebraska, I got excited screamed at the top of my lungs, GOOD FOR A COWBOY FIRST DOWN! Because I knew it had to be ten yards and everyone was going to join me and they'd recognize that I was the first one to see it. I jumped on the bleacher in front of me and exclaimed, OK NOW EVERYBOY, GOOD FOR A COWBOY FIRST DOWN. I even made sure I made my hand go to the left like you're supposed to in one fluid swift motion.
Just then, some snotnose a-hole teenage girl said that's a highlight from 1987. I tried to resist looking, but my son, daughter and even my younger wife were snickering and laughing at me like I was a fool. Then the people who's Dr. Pepper I kicked over when I jumped on the bleacher made big stink about that. There was just that exclusion, that diminishing me as a man in from of my family.
I'll tell you what brother, when it happens to you in front of your loved and cherished ones. That stings. That stings hard. I took a deep breath looked out over the north stands and remembered seeing Cordell Hall over those bleachers in the past and how things and changed and sighed as I wondered if I was going to be left behind and replaced. How a robot could do my job and then what. Will the robot teach my son how to throw a football. Will the robot walk my daughter down the wedding aisle. Will my younger wife just leave me face down in the dust while she makes love to a robot in our bed and even gleefully does the positions with the robot that she never allowed me. I felt like a robot was laughing at me and all those other people in the section were just piling on. Piling it on high and deep.
I just don't know what a man is to do. I remembered the trick father taught me. When he felt the world stop spinning and he felt like he was going to be thrown off. He'd take a deep breath and pull on one side of his handlebar mustache. It gave him an opportunity to take inventory of how things were, how things should be, and how to get things back where they should be.
I've been asking around and the obvious answer is Cale Gundy. We'll save money on everything that said Mike Gundy on the doors and stuff. He's been a coach for a long time and it'll just make things go easier.
